The Season of Still: Practices of Dark Night Communing for Middle age
Stillness
Noun
(countable and uncountable, plural stillnesses)
1.The quality or state of being still
Synonyms: calmness, motionlessness, inactivity, inertia
2.Habitual silence or quiet; taciturnity. quotations ▼
“Imagine there are pillows, pillows right behind your eyes. And now, let your eyes rest into those pillows” she said to me. I followed her instruction and began to feel the soft and subtle, although roaringly loud shift. That shift was like a domino effect-it signaled a shift within my whole body. Even my mind calibrated a little. All of it prepared some ground, ground for me to soften a little and at the very least consider the wild request for stillness.
When I think of stillness, my body tends to soften a bit. I consider the art and science of deliberate stillness to have many forms, but one I am drawn to is the practice of restorative yoga. It’s a time when we can quiet the gross outer body, giving rise to rich inner landscapes and an opportunity to rest (but not sleep!) deeply: a true medicine for our modern, active often hectic times.
Why practice it? Why lay around snuggled in heaps of props, conversing with the breath, keeping the eyes dimmed and resting? And how does that really contribute to one’s health and wellness?
The nervous system is the greatest beneficiary of restorative yoga and practices that are stilling and quiet. As the body relieves the muscles and bones of their roles of support and action, the nervous system sends and receives fewer messages and begins to quiet down. Layers of tension melt away as presence moves in with thoughtful, wise lessons. To pay attention is to discover clarity and through clarity and attention one can come into a greater state of harmony with the body’s natural rhythms. Living by these rhythms is key to balanced, vibrant health and may also be an invitation to the hormone system to follow suit. ‘Tis true, our whole ecosystem talks to each other and understanding their language is highly important work, especially from a holistic and embodied perspective.
In addition to cultivating a deeper sense of attunement and alignment, stilling practices have other significant health benefits. For example, when the body experiences deep rest and finds an external softening, the whole internal chemistry begins to change. As the nervous system feels the deep well of quiet, ease and support, the alchemic shift begins. This process lays the groundwork for some pretty important transformation, especially when practiced with consistency and regularity.
These can include:
Strengthening the muscular system by allowing for rest, rejuvenation and circulation.
Improving flexibility. When the body and mind work in support of each other, there is a strong, harmonious rhythm that is created. Within this harmony, the body finds a greater sense of ease and clarity, and is able to bend and shift in a very different way, especially when done with awareness and intention.
Quieting our tendency toward anxiety. When anxiety is present, it is often difficult to be still and/or practice concentrating on the breath. But, when possible, stilling practices and guided breathing can be very helpful. They can aid in helping to calm the body and work with the breath to help calm the nervous system. When the breath is stable, we are stable. Working with the breath is a doorway into working with the nervous system.
Restoring our vital life energy. Often in our busy, modern world we find ourselves pulled in many directions, our sense body (eyes, ears, mouth, nose and skin) is in a constant state of output. Stilling practices offer a chance to rub up against our fast paced life and slow down, connect inward, nourish the senses as well as the mind and body. This is a powerful way to feel an increased awareness of total body wellness and connection and to rebuild our life force.
Improving connection to ourselves. Many ancient wisdom traditions believe in the value of time for self-connection. It can be a powerful chance to check in and see what is really in there. Giving yourself the gift of time and space is one of the most incredible boons towards a stronger sense of health and wellness imaginable. It can help us tap in to our deeper knowing, our true wisdom. Some call it intuition, guidance or even wisdom. All feel true to me and being in this connection is essential for the integration and ripening of a life that is authentic, sincere, connected and divine.
So much more could be said, and all of my classical teachers share that education and theory are important, but the real work comes when you actually practice. When you move from the thinking and the processing to the transformational and seemingly simple though not at all easy commitment to practice. Just like the muscles in our physical body, regular commitment to practice will strengthen and steady our quietude. When you practice regularly and with consistency you will see the change you seek. It will be reflected in the way you move, the way you live, the choices you make and the community you keep. The steady forge from within, guiding and supporting you. It is a step towards an incredible deepening, a deepening that comes from the call of middle life that asks to be honored, tended and explored.
P.S. It is my belief that sometimes the practice of stilling is not always started by being still. Sometimes it can be useful to begin with a quiet walk, forest bathing or a guided meditation or visualization. And, in time, that might shift to something different. As I age, I find it sometimes harder and sometimes easier to be quiet and still, especially when I feel stressful times. Overall I have found that honoring wherever I am on that continuum is an important practice of listening. Be kind to yourself and honor exactly where you are. It is the trust pathway in, I have found.